Monday, 16 May 2011

Standing on the edge of GUCR despair

Well I have been finalising  my GUCR crew details this weekend.

This involved trying to give my crew an indication as to where I will be during the course of the race (on the side of a canal I should imagine).

The very thought of putting pen to paper and saying I will be X miles in by Y time has frightened the life out of me and I can no longer seem to focus on the actual race without getting feelings of fear, trepidation, despair & a sick feeling in the depth of my stomach. I am seriously doubting my whole preparation for this event at the moment and am feeling woefully inadequate and under trained for the task in hand.

This is not good with less than 2 weeks to go. I need to refocus and get my head back in the game….

Quitting is not part of my vocabulary and I have never had a DNF against my name.

One thing I have decided is that if during the race I feel like throwing the towel in I will need to defer to Anna to make the call as I refuse to carry the quit number in my phone.
Anna has stated that if she is forced to make that call I will have to move out for a while as I would be impossible to live with whilst I beat my self up about quitting, so I know she will not make that call unless an injury forces me to quit, even if I am begging her to in the middle of the night….

Enough of this negative thought’s……..

I am really looking forward to getting remotivated and one way I have found which works for me is watching others achieve there goals and dreams.

So to that end I am off this weekend to help out on the ULTRArace latest race in the 9Bar series the Cardiff Ultra.

Anna and I will be manning one of the check points together with number one and two son in tow (oh and the dog).

I get a lot out of these events meeting like minded people and seeing them achieve there ambition is very special.

I can see why Race Organisers go through all the grief and heart ache to organise these events to see the culmination of there efforts etched in sheer joy and elation in the faces of everyone that finishes.

It is the positive motivation I need to get my sorry backside to the starting line of the GUCR with the vision of my own finish line experience firmly etched and focused in my mind. It will be the one thought and vision which will see me through the dark patches..

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