I think the biggest emotion I can't seem
to get a handle on (but really want to) is the What If......
What if it all happens again, I really DO
not want to spend 2 weeks in hospital again. More importantly I don't want to
put my loved ones through the pain and suffering I ultimately caused
them the first time round.
Well I suppose I should start back at the
beginning only because I have not written on this blog for what seems the
longest time. So I suspect I have lost all my avid readers who clutched at all
my ramblings with outstretched arms. OK slight exaggeration I think my Mum read
it at least I think she did, still one reader is better than no reader (Note to
self must email the link to Mother)...
Ok I used to be an Ultra Runner who
entered the odd race or 2 and quite enjoyed the experience. That's enough of
that in order to tempt any future readers (maybe one of my brothers will join
my dear old Mum) you will have to read some previous race reports.
This all came to an abrupt end in June
2012 during a 100 mile race. To cut a long story short (I really hate that
statement but can't think of a better one, I should have tried harder at
English GCSE) I ended up in hospital diagnosed with Rhabdomylosis. After I got
out and had recovered I discovered I was actually scared of running, sounds
really silly now but at the time I guess I was scared of a repeat leading to the
same problems. To add to that it really hurt to run still, well again using the
same short cutting technique, it transpired I had been running with a stress
fracture in my hip for a fair while which in a knock on affect ultimately led
to my hospitalisation.
I was lucky enough to get the all clear from
the doctor at the end of January 2013. So I really got the bit between my teeth,
I had plans to train smart and start racing again. All that happened in reality
was I spent the whole of 2013 faffing and dithering when it came to running. I
could not make any decisions whether I wanted to train seriously or not. Yes at
the time all this faffing came out as potential obstacles that to the untrained
eye could have been seen as valid reasons why I could not commit to a solid
training plan. Who was I kidding though, all the obstacles were put there
because I did not want to face the “What
If” emotion.
So after my wasted year I quickly came to
the conclusion that I had run out of excuses to NOT run an ultra again. I
finally signed up for an Ultra that is local to where I used to live and
subsequently train. I suspect an expert could and would analyse this as some
sort of comfort thing that although I am taking the step back to Ultra’s I am doing it in a way that is very tentative
and the serious need to wrap myself up in cotton wool.
I don’t think I am though, the Ultra I have signed
up to is the Evesham Ultra organised by Cotswold Running. Although it’s not the
hilliest I could have chosen it certainly has a few spikes to test the old
quads.
Let’s be fair I could of chosen a nice canal bimble
as my come back not that I’m knocking canal Ultra’s I actually like them.
Going back to my original opening sentence, I am
excited, respectful, scared and above all grateful of the opportunity to prove
to myself that I can still run Ultras…..
So in a little over 2 weeks time whatever happens I will blog a warts and all race
report.
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